OOOOHHHHH FUUUCKKKK!!

So, I'm at Target today with Joshua (the 22 month old) finishing up the Christmas shopping. I know that I should probably go by myself to do these things, but I figure he still doesn't get the whole Santa thing, so I'm probably safe. Anyway, one of the things on my list for him is a 'ride on toy'. For those of you in the North, that may seem like a funny gift in the middle of winter, but here in North Carolina, we can still play outside many days in December.

Anyway, I got to the ride-on toy section and saw the perfect one! Joshua is obsessed - I mean OBSESSED!!!! with cars, trucks, trains...the typical boy stuff. There in front of me is Joshua's promised land, a huge, Tonka truck ride-on toy. It was totally perfect. So, I put it in the cart and looked at my list for the next item.....

I must digress at this point to share something important. Joshua talks quite a lot, but not very well. One of his main issues right now is the fact that he drops initial word sounds all the time. The other day he was yelling 'oon' at me and he was pissed! So, I had to frantically look around to decipher if he wanted a 'spoon, balloon, moon, baboon...' you get the idea.

So, back to Target. There were 3 other families in the aisle with us and I put the truck in the cart. Joshua turns around, grins with delight and says, 'Ooooohhhh fuuuucccckkkk', while spinning the wheels on the truck. The other families, needless to say, were quite surprised, one even grabbed her daughter and clamped her hands over her ears. It only took a moment for them to realize that he was talking about the truck and then they began laughing. I, personally, didn't find it that funny. I was mortified! Joshua just kept yelling, 'fuck, fuck, fuck' and laughing like crazy. The toy was too big to go under the cart - believe me - I tried! So, we just got the rest of the gifts as fast as we could and got out of the store with Joshua chortling, 'fuck' all the way.

Lesson learned - do Christmas shopping by myself. Ok universe - I got it!