Sneaky Kids

I was running errands with my daughters, ages nine and seven, this week. I gave them gum to keep them preoccupied so they wouldn't realize we had three more stops to make before going home. I looked in the rearview mirror ten minutes later to see them not chewing gum. I asked, "Did you swallow your gum?"
The both looked at each other in a conspiracy, like, "Should we tell her?"

I started getting alarmed. Was it in their hair? Did they throw it out the window at the police car next to us at the red light? Was it on the window? Were they choking on it? Where did the fucking gum go??

"Well, we put in the "secret garbage".

Turns out, the "secret garbage" is the little area on the car doors where you put maps, change and apparently half-eaten doughnuts, suckers, crackers, jolly ranchers, gushers, and chewed gum. I'm not sure if I'm grateful they weren't actually eating all the sugar I'd been giving them if I was disturbed that I would now have to scrape and pick all that food out of that plastic holder.

Beware. I'm not the only one with kids that have secret storage places. My friend Carol recently moved her son's bed to the other side of the room to change it up a bit and was horrified to see that he had a "Booger Wall". That's right. Her wall was filled with chunky, green crust and boogers. She was horrified. Of all the vacuuming, dusting and washing of the floors, it never occurred to her to scrub the walls free of boogers and snot.

For the record, I have since checked my kids' bedroom walls and they are clean. Thank God. I'm going to be busy washing old, discard, chewed-up food out of my car.

So here's my question: What types of sneaky things have your children pulled on you? Please tell me that Carolyn and I are not the only ones.