Article on PP OCD...Scary Intrusive Thoughts Are NORMAL!
Anyone experiencing scary, intrusive thoughts? It has been reported that 91% of mothers and 88% of fathers report intrusive thoughts about harming their baby at some point following their baby's birth (Abramowitz, 2006).
Check out this article on postpartum OCD. It appears that women will tell their phsycians about their OCD thoughts, but not each other. Almost every woman can relate, so let's talk about it! (For selfish reasons, I would love to FINALLY not feel so alone.)
http://abcnews.go.com/Health/story?id=117022&page=1
Let the conversation begin!
Kelly
Me Too
I just found your website - its been a welcome relief. I have this intense desire to know that I am not alone and to reach out to other moms who are in the same situation that I am in. I have also "survived" PPOCD twice. The first time went undiagnosed and the second did not (I was wise enough about it to make sure everyone around me watched for it to happen again - and happen it did). I still suffer from it. In fact - I am having a relapse of sorts right now - but I attribute it to not taking my medication anymore and hormone fluctuations around my menstrual cycle (when my symptoms seem to get worse). My baby is now 18 months old and I really hope I will be able to get over this soon. It probably won't surprise you I have the same Type A personality you both mentioned in your stories on the main page of the site. Maybe that's a characterisic that places women at more risk of this?
Thank you for starting this website!
You aren't alone!!!!
Hi - I'm glad that you wrote to us. I'm so sorry to hear what you are going through right now. This area is public - but I would like to invite you to email either Kelly or myself privately (I'm not the one who had PPOCD, but am a willing ear!) and talk more about what's been going on. We aren't doctors, but we have been there and want to listen. You aren't alone, you aren't crazy and this too, shall pass...
carolyn@mommiescrytoo.com
kelly@mommiescrytoo.com
your website
You may not feel I belong here...I have no children...We lost our only son when I was 21 weeks a long...I went into full labor, etc....but I had to write and tell you how much your story meant to me...I read your book and it has been a big help to me. I have struggled with hormonal depression 3 times in my life...the first two times I had no idea what it was...both times I had hormone crashes (the first time due to going off birth control pills)...I figured it out after the 2nd time...and how I did was watching Brooke Shields talk about her experience of postpartum depression...I thought that is what I have...it happened each time I had a hormonal event...it lasted 10 to 11 months and poof would leave like it came suddenly.
I had issues that warranted a hysterectomy last year...and I was concerned about it...because my husband and I realized that losing my hormones would most likely cause me to go back into this horrible state...I tried to explain it to the doctor that was going to do the surgery, but he just made light of it...he promised to leave my ovaries in...and so I thought well, hopefully it will be fine.
Before the surgery...I read your book...even though I don't get the wonderful gift of having a child...the experience is exactly the same...and so I read as many books as I can find in hopes of finding help...the first time I had this...they put me on several anti depressants and it did me no good...in fact it got worse.
Reading your story helped me to know I was not alone in that...and that maybe I had the same issue of not metabolizing them well...
Sorry for the long story...but I had the hysterectomy...he took my ovaries (they were healthy and fine...that is another long story...but basically he went back on what he was going to do)....and 3 months after the surgery (when my estrogen stores were depleted) I felt the horrible hormonal depression come back...I am still battling this hell and its been a year...I am going to ask my doctor about whether I should be tested to determine whether I am a slow metabolizer.
I just want to thank you so much for having the book written and for this site...in my heart, I am a mom...but sadly don't have him with me...but what I am going through is the same thing...just minus the child....
I hope its okay for me to stay and try to glean all I can from the resources on this site.
I have enjoyed reading the blogs and your transparency and Kelly's.
Hi there
You are so wrong, I ABSOLUTELY believe that you belong here. Let me start off by saying how very sorry I am for the loss of your son. What a terrible experience that must have been for you. Our second child almost died numerous times when he was first born and I told my husband at the time, 'I don't think I can live if he doesn't'. I really, really meant it too. It didn't seem that life was worth living without him in the world. Fortunately, he is still here with us, but that feeling will haunt me forever. I don't know what I would have done. So, kudos to you, after a terrible loss, you are still here and still fighting. How brave and strong you have been.
Secondly, I want to offer my condolences for everything you have been through. What a long and terrible story you have had. The feeling of depression is absolutely crushing. I often wonder what will happen for me when I go through menopause, or have a hysterectomy, if the depression will come back and will I be able to survive if it does....
I'm curious, what is happening with your treatment now? Are you on any meds? Any therapy? I'd love to hear more from you, help if I can. Please feel free to email my personal account. It is - carolyn@mommiescrytoo.com
Please know, you are not alone. I've been there. I've also come out the other side. You can too. I know that's hard to believe with where you are now, but don't give up hope.
Carolyn
thanks for the welcome
Thank you so much for your kind words. I appreciated everyone of them. Its been a hard row...thanks for the encouragement and the welcome.
I appreciate your giving me your e-mail and offer to help in anyway you can....you have already more than you know by allowing your story to be written and this site. I am going to ask my doctor when I see him this month about whether I could be not processing things right (or metabolizing)....I feel like I get help for a while then the benefit goes away and things worsen again...I related to that happening to you and thought maybe that is my issue.
I have been able to correct somethings, but am still battling others...its been a bit scary as the other two times it happened I came out of it like clockwork at 10 to 11 months...and I have been like this for close to 13 months now...I don't have my ovaries to help reset my body this time. Some element is still missing...I am not me...I still am in this prison of feeling and want to find the key to unlock it and regain and be myself again.
I have definitely found things to help...and would be glad to share them. If I can return the favor you have given to me with you sharing your story by giving you info for when you face menopause I will be so happy to do it...and hope in the coming months to be able to say I have gotten to the other side.
One of the biggest keys I have found is the connection between plummeting estrogen levels and serotonin crashing...and the importance of rebuilding that. Loss of serotonin has profound effects on thinking, mood, our ability to function...and estrogen receptors are in our brains,so when we have a major hormonal event (Giving birth, going off birth control, menopause, etc)it can wreak havoc on our brain chemistry. It has taken me so much time to understand this. That's why I appreciate so much the info I gleen from others...its gives you step up in the battle to win over this.
Thank you again for your kind words and welcome to this site. :)
Hello
I just wanted to check in on you and see how you are doing. Were you able to get the test yet? Feeling any better?
Feel free to reply to my email if you don't want everything broadcast for the world to see - LOL.