Frustrations
Submitted by Anonymous on Tue, 08/25/2009 - 6:38am.
What frustrates you?
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Frustrations
Submitted by Anonymous on Tue, 08/25/2009 - 6:38am.
What frustrates you? |
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Over scheduled kids
Does anyone ever think it strange at how over committed kids are these days? I remember as a kid waking up, going to school, playing with my friends and maybe having one committment during the week (usally skating or gynastics). My son is very involved in sports which nowadays has a much greater time commitment than I ever had as a kid (3-4 time a week for 5&6 year olds???). We do have a rule for sports- no more than one sport a season. He's asked to try karate, but we tell him he has to choose between karate and baseball. Predictably, he picks baseball.
I understand that many of these extra curricular activities have benefits, teaching kids essential lift skills like teamwork, but what about giving kids time to play and just be kids. Am I alone, or do others think it is bizarre that parents need separate calendars just to keep track of their kids activities?
Totally agree with you.
I totally agree! These kids seem to be training for the Olympics. We have the same rule: one sport per season. And are you witnessing the intensity of parents on the sidelines? I heard one parent yell, "What is WRONG with you! Get the ball!" It was my daughter's soccer game. She's seven. SEVEN! It is my belief that kids aren't doing their best because it feels good for the team. They're doing their best so they don't piss off their parents. Scary.
Everything seems to be planned...fun time, sports, parties, playdates. What happened to a friend knocking on the front door asking if so-and-so can play?
You are SO not alone!
I agree. All the scheduled playdates, games, and "fun" time. What happened to friends knocking on your door asking if your kid can play today?
We have the same rule: one sport per season.
And honestly, I think a lot of parents are pushing their kids. Have you SEEN them on the sidelines lately? They are screaming at their kids and paying them for goals or baskets. I heard one parent scream at a softball game, "Hey! Do you want that dollar or not! GET A HIT!"
I'm beginning to see that kids aren't doing well at a sport because it feels great to be a part of a team. They're doing well so they disappoint their intense parents.
Crazy!
Mothers judging other mothers
I was at McDonalds and we sat next to a mom with a newborn and started talking. I asked, “So, how are you doing?” She said, “Of all the things I could have prepared for before having my baby, criticism from other mothers never made it on my list. I have so many women telling me they are doing it better and I should do it this way and that way. I would have never guessed I’d feel so small because of what other mothers say to me.”
Mother's Judging...
Along the same lines... I have a co-worker who recently had her first baby. Throughout the course of her pregnancy I was shocked to hear the countless "advice" other mom's were giving her. Make sure you use this formula, these diapers, don't use a daycare center, etc. It was amazing to me at how opinionated moms can be. I must admit, I did partake in some "advice giving", but it was to tell her to not listen to what everyone else has to say, and do what feels right for her and her baby. Every baby is different, every mother is different, and every parenting experience will be different.
Agreed!
I feel so bad for expectant mothers these days. Everyone is jamming advice down their throats making motherhood unbearable before the sleepless nights begin.
I remember buying a pacifier for an 18 month old for our firstborn. It looked like a manhole covering her face. Finally after a month, we realized pacifiers came in sizes. hahaha. We were clueless. But we laugh about it now, even nine years later. Mistakes, stumbles, and trips are all part of the journey. We all learn our own way.
How about we just encourage the brave new moms out there today instead of criticizing how their doing it? For the love of God, they birthed a human being! It still blows me away that our bodies can do that without ripping in half. How about we celebrate that accomplishment?
Kelly Nordstrom
Awesome.
I feel so bad for pregnant moms these days. At some point, after all the insufferable opinions, they may just think, "Apparently I'll never do this right."
And there is no right way. Each child needs support and love given to them in a unique way.
Enough with the bullet-pointed lists and unwanted advice. How about we just encourage expectant moms and support them with positive feedback and care?
Losing myself
I don’t know if it frustrates me or worries me, or what, but one of my biggest problems with being a mother is that I feel like I lose myself in the process. It’s such a big, overwhelming task to be in charge of little lives. It takes everything I have and at the end of the day, there isn’t much left over. Sometimes when my husband says, ‘what would you like to do today?’ I automatically begin thinking about what needs to be done, or what the boys would like to do. He always stops me and says, ‘No Carolyn, I asked what YOU would like to do?’ And then I have to think about it for a moment? What would I like to do? It’s like I forget. If there were only me, what would make me happy? That upsets me sometimes. Because these boys will grow up one day and go out on their own. After all that time, will there be anything left of just me? Or will I have loved them so much for so long that my personality is no longer my own, but theirs instead? I have to work hard to remember me. That’s frustrating because I AM me. Why should I need to work so hard to remember that?
You might be lost - but not alone!
I thought teenagers are the ones 'finding themselves.' I also wonder who I am other than a wife and mother. So much of my effort pre kids was focused on 'the career' - well pretty much gave that up. I just keep reminding myself that these baby years will go by fast, and hopefully when everyone is in school - I can devote some time to satisfying my needs. Just not sure what those needs are at the moment. While it doesn't change things, it's good to hear someone else feels this way. Right now its enjoying the moment. I'll worry about the future when it gets here!
I definitely think this is
I definitely think this is something all of us mothers feel. I know I need to remember to think about myself, but despite that, I'm almost always the last one to be thought of. I sit down last for dinner, I buy clothes and gadgets/toys for all my boys, husband included, before I ever think of myself, and I'm lucky if I get a haircut once every six months. I can't remember the last time I went to a movie and I'm not even sure I remember what a dinner at a fancy restaurant with my husband feels like.
I think it's hard to remember because the job of being a mother is so important. We're shaping how our children will become. We're teaching them how to be successful compassionate adults. It's one of the hardest, and yet most rewarding jobs I've ever had. It's difficult not to get so engrossed in the job that we forget to tend to ourselves.
Julie M.
Julie, me too.
Reading your post made me remember that I need a haircut. It's been at least a year (maybe longer?). Do we have a deal that you and I schedule to get a haircut by January 15, 2010? I don't care if I end up at Great Clips. My hair looks like steel wool because it's so dry.
It's so important to include ourselves on our list. If we don't take care of ourselves, how can we take care of others? Carolyn and I have a dream of opening a retreat/clinic for new moms complete with massage, yoga, meditation, counseling, and food that we don't have cook! It is so important to honor ourselves and the work we do.
I'm ALWAYS the last one to sit down for dinner. While it bothers me, my husband and kids do the clean-up. Fair trade. Whoever cooks, gets a "Get Out Of Clean-up Free" card.